Sokka's Worst Christmas Ever
by ghostdominion6
Summary: Santa Claus attacks the Avatar characters' house in an alternate universe, and they have to struggle to survive. Is this story worth reading? Read it to decide. Gore, violence,and many references. There shall be no mercy felt towards shipping pairs.


_**Twas the night before Christmas, and as the Avatar characters dispersed,**_

_**They discovered they were in an alternate universe.**_

_**Instead of saving the world from the dreaded Fire Nation,**_

_**They only thought of school-work and currency inflation.**_

_**It was now Winter Break, time for relationship friction, **_

_**So they set out to survive this brand-new fan-fiction.**_

Deep in the heart of the North Pole, directly in the middle of the Water Nation stronghold, stood a house. It wasn't too large, but it was big enough to build weapons. It was not a normal water-tribe house; in fact, it was recently made out of gingerbread. Inside this house lived a man, who owned many slaves to carry out his dirty work. Finally, on this Christmas Eve, he was ready to attack. He would be heading to a city named Ba Sing Se. Santa Claus is coming to town….

Zuko finished putting up all of the Christmas decorations and walked back inside the house. He was on vacation from school, along with Aang, Katara, Sokka, Jet, Toph, Azula, Ty Lee, Mai, Haru, Teo, Suki, Smellerbee, Longshot, and other people that he couldn't remember. A perfect set-up for a fan-fiction.

"Hi Zuko!" called Toph cheerfully. She was straining from going out of character. She failed.

"Oh, um…hi." Zuko replied weakly. He was out of character as well.

Meanwhile, Sokka was in his bedroom, contemplating over which girl he should date. He figured that Azula would be too rough, and Katara would be too nagging. He thought about every girl in the house; everyone except Toph. When he finally came to a decision, he jumped off the bed and ran out the door, colliding into Suki.

"Watch where you're going!" yelled Suki.

"I thought you liked me!?" cried Sokka.

"Why the hell would I like you?"

Sokka tried to come up with a good answer, but remembered that this was an alternate universe. He was lucky that he knew Suki, for that matter.

Out in the cold, snow-filled land, Mai, Ty Lee, and Azula were going house to house singing Christmas Carols.

"We are here to sing Christmas Carols for you, filthy peasant. Now listen and enjoy, for your ears will descend upon the most pleasant sounds you will ever hear in your short life." Declared Azula to the citizen of Ba Sing Se who opened his front door.

"Uh, no thanks. I celebrate Hanukkah." the man said as he tried to shut his door. Azula instantly pushed the door forward, knocking the man onto the floor.

"_I SAID_ we are going to sing Christmas Carols." Azula said; anger obvious on her features.

"Please no!" cried the man. He stood up and attempted to run.

"SIC HIM TY LEE!" shouted Azula. Ty Lee sprang forward and paralyzed the poor man. He was forced to listen to Mai's singing as punishment.

"_Hark, the emo angels sing. Hatred towards the damn Earth king. He has a dumb bear named Bosco, who cuts himself_….. I seriously can't think of anything that rhymes with Bosco. Can I stop now?"

Aang and Katara were lying on the couch, kissing each other with intense passion. After the Zutara and Taang shippers read this, they probably will feel entitled to flame this story in a review. I am perfectly fine by that. So long as you review. Yeah. Go onto a new paragraph.

Zuko and Toph were sitting with each other, surrounded by awkward silence. Toph thought of something to say, and eventually, she started to break the fourth-wall. Again.

"So, um, do you like the Zoph shipping pair?" Toph asked.

"Yeah. I mean, he/she's pretty nice and caring. It's like he/she is two different, familiar people. It's weird. He/she reminds me of someone." Said Zuko.

I know what you mean." Toph replied. They continued to sit there for a while, and the Zoph/Toko shippers waited anxiously for them to kiss. That never comes, though, and now even more people are going to flame me. Kind of ironic, due to us talking about Zuko. I'll shut up now.

Sokka walked through the house and eventually found himself under conveniently-placed mistle-toe. Azula, Ty Lee, and Mai barged into the front door and headed to their rooms. In clichéd fanfiction fashion, Ty Lee stepped under the mistle-toe with Sokka. They both blushed.

"So, uh, want to make out?" asked Sokka.

Meanwhile, on top of the roof, Teo spotted a figure fly across the moon. It was something like a carriage that was led by eight creatures. The last thing Teo saw was a burst of machine gun fire. He fell off the roof and stood still, his blood spreading across the once-glistening white snow.

Back in the house, Ty Lee made the most important decision of her life. Sure, choosing to kiss a boy under mistle-toe didn't seem too important, but this was different. Every woman who has relations with Sokka ends up getting hurt/captured/killed/forced to watch Pee-Wee's Playhouse. This would end up no different.

"Of course, cutie!" Ty Lee shrieked. As if on cue, part of the wall was blown open, and Ty Lee was gunned down by gunfire. Sokka screamed out in horror, along with the Ty Lokka shippers.

"HO HO HO!" laughed the figure in the reindeer-drawn sleigh. He jumped out of the sleigh and took out a newly-built shotgun.

"WHO ARE YOU!?" cried Sokka.

"I am Saint Nicholas, and I am your executioner." He pulled the trigger, but Sokka rolled out of the way. He ran towards Katara's room. Santa Claus chased after him. He barged into her room, only to find Aang getting to Second Base with Katara.

"Uh, awkward!" blurted Sokka. He regained his thoughts. "Guys, we need to get out of here. A crazy fat man dressed in red is trying to kill me!"

"Oh, you mean Haru?" asked Aang. Everyone laughed at the insult directed to Haru for a second. Santa Claus burst into the room and shot at the ceiling.

"AHHHHH!" Aang screamed with a high-pitched girl voice.

"Aang, protect me!" cried Katara.

"NO WAY, DUMBASS. HE IS GOING TO FREAKING SHOOT ME. I'M RUNNING FOR MY LIFE!" Aang screamed. He idiotically ran towards the door, and Santa basically blew his face off with the gun.

"AANG! NOOOOOO!" cried Katara, the Aang fans, and every person who supports a shipping pair involving Aang. You know something's wrong when the main character from the series dies. Yep, this is a crappy story.

Katara and Sokka miraculously ducked under a bullet, which caused a hole in the wall. They quickly ran through.

"Hey, guys. What's with all the noise? You feeling incestuous again?" asked Smellerbee.

"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Screamed Sokka.

"Come on, Sokka. Incest isn't that frowned upon." Smellerbee continued. She smiled and kissed him. "If you're into that, how about you pretend I'm your sister?"

Sokka looked shocked, but he kissed back, completely forgetting about the imminent danger. Another girl had signed her death sentence. A bullet shot forward and hit Smellerbee directly in the head. She lifelessly fell to the ground.

"AHHHHHHHH!" screamed Katara and Sokka in unison. They ran as fast as they could and bumped into Longshot.

"Longshot, some crazy guy is killing everyone. He…." Sokka's explanation was cut short as the reindeer that were once carrying Santa in the sleigh busted through the walls and ran into Longshot. His only remains were the mist of blood that drifted all over the room. Katara and Sokka fled up the stairs and into the attic. Santa caught up, cornering them.

"I'M DREAMING OF A RED CHRISTMAS!" Santa shouted in a corny manner. Out of nowhere, Mai jogged up the stairs and ran into Santa Claus. His fat caused her to be flung backwards straight down the stairs, causing her to break her neck. Santa looked back for only five seconds, but that gave Sokka enough time. He ran forward and punched Santa in the back of the head. Santa lost his balance and rolled down the stone steps. The jolly-old-fat-man let go of the gun, which Sokka picked up. Santa barged back up the stairs and lunged towards the siblings. They tossed themselves out of the way, and Santa collided into a large window at the end of the attic.

"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" screamed Sokka. He shot the gun and Santa was blasted out of the window. He fell to the ground and ceased to exist.

"Merry Christmas, and have a happy New Year's too." Sokka smirked.

"You know, Sokka, you could've put a few Lethal Weapon references in that statement." Said Katara.

"Yeah. Do you, uh, want to make out?" asked Sokka.

"Sure." Katara replied. They held each other and started French kissing. Sokka had already made it to first base with his sister. The dog!

The siblings walked downstairs while holding hands and found Azula holding a knife. She had cut open Haru's stomach, and he was still squirming around. Azula had snapped.

"You killed Mai and Ty Lee. NOW I KILL U!" Azula shouted. She threw the knife, which sliced through Katara's delicate neck. Katara dropped dead. Azula charged towards Sokka, but he shot her at the last second.

"Its just been revoked." Sokka said in order to use more references. He stared at the carnage and slowly walked away. He walked into his room and fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Toph and Zuko continued to stare at each other.

"Do you want to kiss now?" asked Zuko. Toph looked taken aback and slapped him.

"No, you sicko! I like Sokka. Get out of my sight!" she screamed.

"Fine! I don't need women anyways." Zuko yelled back. From that day, Zuko and Jet began to embark on a homosexual relationship. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

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The North Pole never forgives. The North Pole never forgets.

Santa's elves had heard about Santa's death, and they were determined to kill his murderer. On Christmas Day, less than a day later after the murders, the elves found Santa's reindeers and the sleigh, which housed multiple weapons, including a Ruger point 22 model K10/22PPF. One elf, which was the best shot, lay on top of a roof across from the murderer's house. After 47 minutes, he eventually came out: Sokka. The elf pulled the trigger…

Sokka reviewed all of the past events from the previous night. Almost everybody was gone. Well, he was still alive, and that was all that mattered right now. He took a step down from the steps of his house and stopped. He felt something hit his chest. It didn't hurt, but he definitely felt something. Color slowly started to drain from the planet. No one was around, which added to the peculiarity of the event. He saw a figure run up to him from out of the house, and he noticed that he was laying on the ground now. The figure, a girl, had tears running down her cheeks. She reached out and placed her finger where there was a small hole in his shirt. The figure was Toph, and Sokka finally saw how beautiful she was. She was his love. Only now did Sokka realize that he had been looking for her all his life.

No pain. Just a sense of tiredness and resignation.

Sokka smiled and closed his eyes, never having even gotten to third base with a woman.

_**Many people were lost on that dreadful night,**_

_**So Merry Christmas to all, now get out of my sight.**_


End file.
